A letter to Son, 2016, wax sculptures
A letter for a fictional character called Son, about the dichotomy of reality and fantasy which is continuously renegotiated by the existence of fear. Fear of who we really are, what we desire and who we want to be. It determines our actions and how we interact with others around us.
Dear Son,
We turn our memories into our own images, it does not even have to be logic. It only has to appear so as long as it arouses the feelings of ourselves. How do I know this truth of mine is true, or just a story I made up to provoke my feelings. A story to enjoy myself and to trigger my mind to experience the new, or a story shaped in a way that I can relate them to my own memories and put them in context within the life and character I am living now.
It is not like I am the only one who is lost in thoughts sometimes.
Son, when you were born it felt unreal, I saw something wet and slippery coming out of me. Something that had been in there for months. That something, you, prying me open, giving me an unmistakable sense of defilement. It looked different than the babies I had seen, not as innocent and vulnerable. It didn’t convey the purity it needed to, to be a baby. You had already been moulded into something else, like my mind moulds the world around me. You presented to me that alternate reality I have always seen.
I knew I was the one that had taken the innocence of the baby in my womb. I had succeeded in truly casting my shadow on this baby.
It made me feel sad... but then I noticed that my shadow was crying too.
wax sculpture, 15 x 30 cm, Julia Heijligers
wax sculpture, 15 x 30 cm, Julia Heijligers
Son, wax sculpture, Julia Heijligers
Detail, wax sculpture, Julia Heijligers
Aileen, 2019, print and acrylic on cardboard, 180 x 105 cm
“Aileen” is a collage consisting of the different expressions of Aileen Wuornos before she got executed. It shows a process where someone's credibility has been taken away, by censoring her sanity. Silencing her by calling her mentally ill, when she's getting more desperate to be heard and understood.
The images are a build up of her emotions throughout this last interview.
